Mother fucking pep talk. I had an interview for my LAMDA MA in Theatre Directing today, and to cut a long story short I felt really not great about the whole thing, but I make myself go anyway, and then missed my train by a mother fucking second. I've been feeling really crappy about a whole bunch of things recently, I think because everything in my (and most of my friends, to be fair) life is really uncertain at the moment, and I don't deal very well with not being in control. It's fucking overwhelming, you know? It's scary. So I rang my mum and had a good cry, and now I'm trying to make myself level-up and deal with it, because no-one likes being a little bitch. Life is so beautiful, and there are so many beautiful people in my life and everything is all right, really, deep down. So I'm giving myself a metaphorical slap in the face, and I'm not going to let myself be negative any more. No complaining, no worrying, no bitching, no tummy sadness. This is obviously easier said than done, but I also kind of thing that just deciding is half the battle.
I'm a self sufficient, brave ass motherfucking wolf.
So. Here's a list of the stuff I've been grateful for. The 100 Happy Days thing that's been going round has been really nice, and I was going to do it, but I forgot after the first day. However self indulgent it may be, writing these lists every now and then really does help me to keep some perspective on my life and how happy I actually ought to be about everything. Thus:
♥ Lebanese food with great people ♥ Referring to my dissertation as 'The Big D' ♥ Luke Barton's face ♥ Hair braids and dresses with flowers ♥ This song ♥ Being confided in ♥ Ostentatious compliments ♥ Having a house full of flowers and chocolate ♥ My fucking family ♥ Going for coffee in The Everyman ♥ Always, always planning the next project ♥ Being complimented on my acting (I hardly ever act any more so this is nice) ♥ Unexpected kisses on the cheek ♥ Chris Worrall's visit, hugs and bacon ♥ Impromptu sleepovers ♥ Cutting loose, being brave ♥ Planning a solo trip to Dublin ♥ Frozen ♥ Buying new underwear ♥ Intense font debates ♥ Also reppin' my Celtic roots with this song ♥ Hanging out outdoors ♥ Spending silly amounts of money on treats and toys for Martha ♥ All my beautiful, loving, kind, wonderful friends, who are always always there when I need them ♥ Being comforted by pie ♥ Having my hair stroked, standard ♥ Getting excited to be in the wild ♥ Coveting approx. a million books which I WILL read after May ♥ Isis wings ♥ Forcing myself to be brave, and finding it easier than expected every time ♥ Beards. ♥ Beards. ♥ Badass female wrestlers ♥ Readying myself to be more active again after uni finishes ♥ Not wearing make up, not caring ♥ Trying really hard to be a good friend ♥ WRESTLEMANIA ♥ Letting. Shit. Go ♥ Knitting for the first time in a billion years ♥ Smelly body butter ♥
Keep going kids x