Stab in the dark here - but I think its because, no matter how confident you are, how happy with your life - theres still a part of a lot of people who want that to be validated by someone else. We're told we ought to by that mean old, ever recurring media dragon. And maybe there's nothing wrong with that - we are, after all, biological creatures of mating. But good God, what if that person - someone who makes you feel great about yourself just hasnt come along yet? Does that mean you just have to glum along until they rock up?
No! The age old adage of loving yourself really and truly is key here I think. It might sound a little contrived at first, because its something we've heard so many times before, but just stop and think about it.
You are the most important person in your life. And no, that doesnt make you a bad person, nor selfish. How do you expect to look after others, make others happy if you're in no fit state yourself? You can't silly billy, you'll run out of juice. You are the one who is always going to be there for yourself - the one who remembers the first heartbreak, all your favourite fims, which toothpaste you like. And I genuinely believe that if you dont show yourself love, you can't expect anyone else to do so.
Thus, my proposition is as follows -
This Valentines Day, take yourself on a date. Buy yourself some flowers, run yourself a big hot bath and pour a glass of wine. Put on Peep Show and have a beer - whatever you'd like someone else to do for you, whatever you consider to be romantic. Romance yourself! Its not lame, you are glorious! The very fact that you're alive, that you are a living and breathing and thinking and feeling being is amazing!
Ideas for how to Adore You!
1 - Write yourself a love letter. Write all the things you love about yourself, all the reasons you respect you, admire you. And if you dont feel it, bluff! Post it to yourself, second class, and feel good when it arrives and you read it back.
2 - Treat yourself to some sexy lingerie. Literally - nothing will make you feel sexier. I'm talking stockings, heels, lace, the full sheabang ladies.
3 - (For the brave!) Go for a meal - on your own. Book a table, and do not take your computer. A book is fine, but this is not work time. Order yourself something you'll really enjoy, and pay attention to what you're thinking - its rude not to listen to other people, and its rude not to listen to yourself.
4 - Look at yourself in the mirror - really look. Compliment yourself. Believe it.
5 - Masturbate. End of.
6 - Look after yourself - you wouldn't feed a child crap, you wouldnt want your loved one to come home drunk off their face every night. You only get one body, and it is incredible; you need it to carry you through life, so look after it.
7 - Snuggle up in bed, and laze. Wheth ever that means watching tv, reading or just daydreaming, don't ever feel guilty for taking time out.
8 - Make yourself do that thing you've been putting off. Encourage yourself - salsa lessons? Pottery? Going to a museum?
9 - Write BEAUTIFUL on your mirror in red lipstick. Feels like a film, feels great.
10 - Spend money on yourself. My mum has a practice where the first thing she does when she gets paid is to buy something for herself - something small, a lipstick or book. She says it makes her feel like she's getting something for herself out of how hard she works, and its so easy for the rest of it to run away with bills and food shopping and us lovely offspring! My mum is off the chain.
How will you start adoring yourself my adorable and wonderful wonderfuls?!