Sunday 9 September 2012

Creative Venture #26


Gold teeth are falling now
From pastures of before
I knew in golden towns
Knew better than their law

Back to the wall I stood
Beside a man I almost was
And for all we knew we could
Have been forever lost

Turn me back to the pet I used to be
Council my breath
My back's to the wall and I'm lonely
I'm standing, counted. I am left.

My skin too white to last the night
I wanted to muddy yours
Still I can taste that pale light
And you know when it rains sometimes it pours

The sweetest lipless embrace I know
Was too much to allow
Bury yourself beneath the snow
For I am golden now.


2 comments:

  1. Unless you have very good reason, you shouldn't use the same word twice. See first verse. Also, why do you hate punctuation!? Rest of the world wants to know how to read it to!

    TR xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comment. The repeated use of 'now' was indeed deliberate, as was the lack of punctuation. I know what I'm doing and why when I write, and the effect that is intended to have upon the reader. Whether or not you agree with my decisions in those areas is up to you.

      Delete

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