Saturday, 28 August 2010

Excellent beards!

I fucking love beards. Its just the epitome of manliness - its like, yehh, I just came in from the wilderness, sure I could fight off a wolf with my bare hands! Maybe not, but there is something outrageously sexy about a bit of hair du facial.

Hello Mr Mcavoy. Yes, yes I would like to lick your face. Except for the fact that I would probably get hair in my mouth from your splendid facial hair.
Even in the controversial case of Brad Pitt, I have to admit, I did love the beard. It was, perhaps, verging on Grizzly Adams, but nevertheless. I dont know what it is, I'm just unbelievably pro. I cant think of any instance where I preferred someone minus their beard. Brad Pitt in Fight Club (which is, by the way, one of my favourite all time films) is a close call, but I think thats more about the smokin abs and I-dont-give-a-fuck-about-society-fight-me attitude.

Ahhh, Mr Butler. Ever since that P.S I Love You Moment (we dont really talk about it, but lets just say it was messy), every woman in the Western hemisphere has coveted you and your beardy beardy face, not to mention how indebted the Irish now are to you. Then 300 - its just the cold hard truth, real men have beards. Real men are too busy fighting off Persian armies to bother with whip of the Gillette in the morning. Real men know how futile it would be for them to shave, they'd just be all brissly by the afternoon anyway. Real men have so much testosterone, it literally forces its way through the pores on their face.

It is worth considering however, the issue of stubble rash. Lets not forget this most serious issue. Speaking from experience, its fine so long as you avoid the middle ground. Clean shaven = smooth and painfree. Beard = hirsute facial stroke of love. Stubble = BAD TIMES. Between two and four days is worst, depending on your man's particular regrowth levels. If the worst comes to the worst, just wash your face in cold water after your tonsil tennis sesh and try convince him to moisturise. Its not worth loosing kissing for. Kissing is good. Almost as good as beards.

1 comment:

  1. love your blog rio. its amazing, just like you :D x


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